UNKNOWN SEAS INVENTORY

[shieldsister]

KEEPING ★ TOTEM OF BROTHERHOOD: A strange stone slab with an intricate design. ★ AMULET OF MARA: A necklace said to be blessed by of one of the divines, Mara. People may be interested in you if you're wearing it. ★ 57. LETTER OPENER: A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness. ★ 58. "ALMOND FLAVORING": A tightly-sealed vial of some kind of powder with a skull and crossbones on it and a very direct warning label informing the reader that it’s Literally Just Cyanide. ★ 59. "EXTRA-LARGE SPICE GRINDER": It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace. ★ 60. "PERSONAL SPACE REMINDER": A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts! (x2) ★ 62. "SOCIAL DISTANCING DEVICE": A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing. (x2) ★ 06. HANDMADE PAPER: Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know? (x2) ★ 09. SCARF: An incredibly comfortable scarf, if you don’t mind the dull brown color. ★ 10. DIAMOND: Literally just a raw diamond, about the size of a pea, that looks freshly dug up from somewhere. (x3) ★ 51. SHOVEL: A normal shovel. For digging. You know, with all the dirt you have access to.

TRADING ★ FAMILY PHOTO: A quaint little photo with some doodles on the back. Are they mutant eggplants...? ★ HIGH SCHOOL PLAY DRAGON COSTUME: When the urge to give a performance so powerful the high school theatre gods weep. ★ CANE: A tool for thieving activities. One of a kind. ★ ORBS: Some simple, rainbow colored orbs. Something good might happen if you save them up. ★ 03. DONUT: These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Which is to say yes, this is a single jelly-filled donut. It doesn’t even look suspiciously like any other kind of food. (x3) ★ 04. HOT SAUCE: A bottle of very strong hot sauce! Use at your own risk! ★ 05. TEA VARIETY PACK: An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here! (x3) ★ 07. LIFE-SIZED STUFFED PENGUIN: A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft. (x2) ★ 12. NISSE: A stuffed friend for the holidays, or really any other time of the year - Gaze upon it, love it, take it home. ★ 14. WATERFALL POSTER: A full-size wall poster with a beautiful photo of Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world. If you’re not into Rita Hayworth, this might be a useful tool to help you break out of here. (x2) ★ 16. MARIONETTE: An intricate and complex puppet that either looks creepy or cool, depending on your point of view. ★ 18. BUCKET OF BRICKS: A plastic bucket with a lid full of small, colorful, interconnecting blocks. The only limit to what you can build is your imagination! No minifigures included. (x2) ★ 19. STUFFED KANGAROO: About a foot tall, and… it’s a kangaroo, what do you want from me? ★ 20. WOODEN FLUTE: Hand-carved and actually really nice. There’s not even really a drawback to this one. (x2) ★ 21. NON-DESCRIPT GOLDEN MAN AWARD: A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for... Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze. ★ 22. LIVE BAIT: A styrofoam cup just... full of worms. In case you want to go fishing, or pull a really mean prank! ★ 24. BLACK LOTUSS: Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the... hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff! ★ 26. COCONUT: It’s a coconut. Secretly, as a food famous for floating, it’s suffering more than any of you while trapped at the bottom of the sea, but it refuses to complain... ★ 27. 9999 IN 1 GAME DEVICE: A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck. (x2) ★ 28. TOY LASER SWORD: A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! This one is purple. Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise. ★ 31. WIZARD HAT: A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork. ★ 32. VELVET CAPE: A full velvet cape, perfect for swishing around and pretending you’re either an old-timey aristocrat or a vampire. Also useful if you wanna get a LARP started in here. (x3) ★ 34. BLOBFISH KIGURUMI: No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world. (x4) ★ 35. LABCOAT: A standard white labcoat, perfect for cosplaying as The Professor’s secret second assistant who lives in the walls. Oops, spoilers! Pretend I didn’t say anything, okay? ★ 36. WEIRDLY SPECIFIC T-SHIRT: Hang on, how many people does this actually apply to? Also it’s like size XXXL. (x2) ★ 40. DISTINGUISHED DRESS: A beautiful, beautiful... article of clothing. ★ 42. GINGERBREAD HOUSE: A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents. ★ 44. BIBLE+: A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back... why is Hot Dan the Mustard Man in here? ★ 45. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT MARGARINE!: A single stick of unsalted butter. Better refrigerate it. ★ 46. HAND BRA: Who the heck left this in here? It almost seems like it belongs in a whole other world. (x3) ★ 47. BOOTLEG BEAR PLUSH: A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura... (x2) ★ 48. TRUST EXERCISES AND YOU!: A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert... the name seems to have been blacked out? (x3) ★ 52. DO-IT-YOURSELF MIME KIT: A very fancy makeup kit! All in shades of white and black. If being a mime isn’t your thing, it might Miraculously help you fit in with a different group of people... ★ 53. ORIGAMI INSTRUCTIONS: A book of instructions on how to fold paper into cool things! Unfortunately, it doesn’t actually come with any paper. ★ 56. PIN-UP CALENDAR?: A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of... wait, no, those are just normal janitors in full coveralls standing in exotic locations.

GONE ★ SöKKVABEKKR: A large, glowing purple sword. Outside of looking intimidating, it (thankfully) seems to just be a normal sword. (Returned to Lif.) ★ APOTHECARY'S SALVE: Inside this small pot is an ointment that smells strongly of herbs and greenery. It's no Neosporin, but it feels great on weals and welts. (Returned to Therion.) ★ THE LUSTY ARGONIAN MAID: A set of two books, containing the worst euphemisms the world has ever seen. Somehow, this bodice-ripper is very popular. (NOTE: Contents are kind of NSFW. Left in the library.) ★ 23. A GALLON OF SEAWATER: Literally just some seawater spills out onto the floor from the mouth of the vending machine. Why this? (x5 Left on the floor of the vending machine room without being cleaned up. Every single time.)